Books, not loving looks; schools ban puppy love

If you are a Chinese high school student, don't worry when a fellow student of the opposite sex asks you to stay at arm's length. It doesn't mean they hate you - he or she may only want you to avoid punishment.

A number of secondary schools have recently issued strict and strange rules aimed at curbing young love.

In the latest notice, Juxi Middle School, in Anxi county, Quanzhou, Fujian province, prohibited boys and girls from passing notes, being together in secluded areas and giving each other gifts.

The notice also banned what it considers close interaction, such as holding hands and hugging.

"Such rules are intended to maintain a safe and orderly campus atmosphere and maintain a pure relationship between boys and girls," the notice read.

Any student found breaking the rules will face severe punishments and their parents will be informed.

Joining the Quanzhou school in curtailing teenage romance is Xiang'an No 1 Middle School in Xiamen, which released a draft regulation. It reads: "If students of the opposite sex hang out together after school, they will be considered dating each other, which should be discouraged."

The schools' instructions have gained some support from parents.

Chen Yunsheng, a businessman in Quanzhou and a father of a 13-year-old girl, says he feels uneasy explaining intimacy to his daughter and worries that she might be tempted by the "forbidden fruit", since she is on the cusp of puberty.

"The schools' move to ban young love addresses my concern and I hope other schools will follow suit," Chen says.

Wang Baohua, a mother of a 14-year-old boy in Zhangzhou, Fujian province, says she agrees with the regulations as it will ensure students focus on their studies. She adds that puppy love may affect their academic performance.

Creating a stir on the Internet, the moves were also condemned and questioned by many students and scholars.

Chen Jianing, a student from Nanjing Foreign Languages School in Nanjing, Jiangsu province, says the belief that young love would distract students from their studies is "nonsense".

"Schools and parents underestimate our ability to balance relationships and studies. Many couples I know are top students and they encourage each other to study hard," Chen says, adding the rules will destroy the normal interaction between teenagers of the opposite sex.

Lian Lishuang, a consultant with the Chinese Psychological Society, says such rules hinder students' physical and mental development.

"Because of healthier diets, nowadays, teenagers are maturing earlier sexually, and simply stopping the hormonal impulses is a brutal way of handling the issue," Lian says.

"Psychologically speaking, the restrictions may lead to a rebel without a cause. When you tell youngsters not to do something, they will be intrigued and try it secretly," Lian adds.

Ju Donghong, a sociologist with Jimei University in Xiamen, says the rules were made by people who grew up in a very conservative social environment.

"Today, society is more open and teenage romances are everywhere ... on TV, film and other media, so those who make the rules should keep pace with it and become more open-minded," Ju says.

"Young love is common in middle schools and there are some cases of students' unintended pregnancy and inappropriate public displays of affection," Ju says.

"But, that only shows inadequate sex education in our secondary schools. The schools issuing those rules are really lazy. Instead, they should enhance proper education."

Warren Peltier, a Canadian who once taught English in a middle school in Longyan, Fujian province, says the rule would probably be futile.

"Even if you can force the students to do that, you cannot force them to think that way. Sex-related knowledge should be popularized in schools," Peltier says, adding that young love will not be forbidden in Canadian schools and it is deemed good as it help youngsters socialize and learn how to get along with the opposite sex.

Zheng Huaqiang, an official with the Quanzhou education bureau, says the bureau always promotes communication and guidance in adolescence education and the Juxi Middle School's notice is not feasible.

"Education on sexual psychology and sexual morality is absent in the country's less-developed areas. Secondary schools must fill the void to essentially fix the problem," Zheng says.

While the Xiamen school has dropped the planned regulation, the Quanzhou school has called off the implementation of the rules.

Liao Jianbo, an official in charge of moral education with Juxi Middle School, says the rules only serve as a deterrent to protect the students and the school will try to communicate more with parents and students to patiently help students with young love issues.

sunli@chinadaily.com.cn

(China Daily USA 12/24/2013 page7)