I am currently on a visit to the United States and am recalibrating some "rules of the road".

Having lived in China for nearly 10 years, I find that in many ways I am more accustomed to living Chinese style. How to be a driver and/or a pedestrian in the United States is always my first challenge upon returning home.

I don't want to drive in China for the simple reason that I don't know how to drive without rules and fear I'd kill myself or someone else the first time out. If I encountered a car driving backwards off an exit ramp I'd probably freeze and fruitlessly scream, "NOOOOOO!!!" instead of backing up in a hurry (and usually without comment) as my Chinese friends and taxi drivers do.

See? Right there is a crash waiting to happen.

Stopping in the middle of the road to talk on my phone is also something I couldn't do, and when drivers do that in China, I fear that I spew English words and phrases not found in the dictionary.

Seeing someone driving the wrong way up a sidewalk hardly fazes me anymore nor does witnessing someone cutting in front of three or four lanes of traffic to whip a U-turn. But I can't see myself being prepared to have that happen and much of safe driving is being prepared for possibilities.

I would spend much of my driving life looking for a place to park. Pulling up on the sidewalk or in front of a driveway or just pulling over anywhere I could wedge myself in, would defy 56 years of habit.

I've been taught to pay a lot of attention to the cars around me so that we can cooperate and make sure the car that arrived first is given a moment to go. In China, that would simply handicap me in a way that would mean I'd be endlessly circling one of those roundabouts, while everyone else would have cut across any number of lanes and in front of any number of cars to get off any way they could.

When I'm back in Hawaii, it takes me several days to remember that we drive very slowly there and, as a matter of "Aloha", we always let the other driver go first, while exchanging a wave and a smile. Try that in Chinese traffic and plan on a trip to the nearest hospital.

When on US soil I am most in danger of getting it all wrong when I am a pedestrian. The first time I stride off the curb and stand on the nearest line, I find myself in the middle of terrified drivers in all directions screeching their cars to a halt because only someone who is demented would do that and if they hit me there it would be hell for them to pay. I then am completely red-faced as I wave and shrug and make many gestures to say, "Sorry!" It is a totally humiliating experience.

I stand on the curb at crosswalks with no lights for too long a time and am astounded when the cars always stop to let me cross. I fully expect a car to come barreling around the right side of the stopped car and send me flying. By the time I figure out that it won't happen, I've sorely tried the patience of the waiting drivers. Giving another red-faced, sheepish smile as I finally cross is my only way to say, "Sorry", again. Over here, pedestrians rule.

As a driver, I look nervously at the pedestrians waiting for the light to change, fully expecting them to walk in front of me. They won't, but my brain takes weeks for that to kick in. Meanwhile, I have slowed down everyone behind me as I practically stop just in case someone does.

This is in town. Dare I try a freeway?

For China Daily