Focus

Torn between two very different cultures

By Tan Yingzi
Updated: 2009-06-01 00:00

Anna Mae He, the center of a much-publicized seven-year-long custody battle in the Unites States, has spent a difficult year making the transition from an American upbringing to her ancestral culture.

Since coming to China in February 2008, the 10-year-old girl has been struggling with her dramatically changing circumstances, especially after the recent divorce of her biological parents, He Shaoqiang and Luo Qin.

In 1999, He and Luo signed over temporary custody of Anna Mae shortly after her birth when they ran into financial and legal difficulties in the United States. Anna Mae’s American foster parents, Jerry and Louise Baker, subsequently tried to adopt the child over her parents’ objections.

On July 24, 2007, the Chinese couple finally regained legal custody of their daughter, who was by then aged eight . He’s student visa had expired, and the family had return to China after the custody issues were resolved.

The adjustment has been difficult for Anna Mae, who now lives with her mother and siblings in Chongqing.

She is clearly uncomfortable speaking Chinese and dislikes eating Chinese food. She speaks only English to her family members and keeps silent at the private bilingual boarding school where she is in the third grade. She had to stay behind a year because of her poor Chinese.

Anna Mae clings to her mother more than her two siblings, eight-year-old Andy and six-year-old Avita, both of whom speak good Chinese and seem to be quite happy in China

Avita, who is easygoing and an extrovert, stays in the same dorm as Anna Mae to help her communicate with other children.

“We know she can speak Chinese but she seldom talks to us,” said Anna Mae’s roommate Fang Xingyuan. “But we still like her and share our snacks with her.”

Anna Mae’s teachers let her sit in the front row in class. She was also allowed to finish the essay portion of a Chinese final exam in English.

Jiang Ximin, a nanny who cared for Anna Mae at school, said she is a very sensitive little girl and needs extra care and attention.

“She could not use chopsticks and ate very little Chinese food when she first came here,” Jiang said. “We were so worried and tried many ways to find a good diet for her. Now she can eat properly but still no spicy food.”

When they returned to China, the family of five first settled in Changsha, Hunan province, He’s hometown, which is best-known for its spicy food, among other things.

A few months later, the family was torn apart by the tough reality of re-entry and the endless disputes between the couple.

Last June, Luo made a bold decision to take the three children secretly back to her hometown of Chongqing, also a haven for spicy cuisine. The couple was divorced in December.

With the support of her father and brother, Luo and her children live in a two-bedroom apartment. The three children come home on weekends from boarding school.

Luo has gotten a job as an insurance agent for an international company.

“I don’t think I will get married again,” she said. “Now my life is all about my children.”

After several months of unemployment, Anna Mae’s father found a job as an English writing teacher at a private foreign language training school in Changsha.

Although he and Luo are now divorced, He said: “I really want to take care of Luo and my three kids as long as I have the ability. I believe as a family, we rise and fall together.”

Luo says she is trying to help Anna Mae understand she is an American Chinese, who should learn to speak the mother tongue and love the country’s history and landscape.

“But I don’t want to force Anna Mae to do anything,” Luo said. “If she doesn’t want to speak Chinese or eat Chinese food, that’s fine. I know it will take a long time for her to feel like a Chinese.”

As for the country where Anna Mae spent the first eight years of her life, Luo said: “Frankly speaking, the US is indeed a heaven for children thanks to its great education and social welfare systems, but children should be raised by their own parents.”

“When they turn 18, I will let them decide where to study or live,” Luo added.  

In the meantime, Anna Mae has kept in touch with her former foster parents, the Bakers, and talks to them on the telephone every Friday night.

“We were distraught when we watched the local news showing Anna Mae boarding the plane for China,” they told China Daily in an email interview.

A few months later, the two families began regular contact for the sake of Anna Mae.

“At first Anna was very hesitant to speak about her life in China,” the Bakers said. “With the passing of each week she has now opened up with everyone in the family. She is laughing and teasing with us all. We have mixed impressions of her life in China…She speaks of being very unhappy at school.”

The Bakers hope that Anna Mae can visit them during a school break some time in the future.

“Our love for Anna grows each day. She is thought of and prayed for every day. She is a very special little girl with two families that love her very much.”