Focus

Heartache of childless couples

By He Na (China Daily)
Updated: 2010-09-21 08:14

'Abortion may have ruined my dreams of motherhood'

Editor's note: Li Miao (not her real name), 36, is a senior manager at a well-known IT company in Beijing.

I enjoy almost everything a woman dreams about: A loving husband, a good job and a big house. But I'll never be happy until I have achieved my dream to become a mother.

When I was 26, I got my graduate degree. It was not easy, and shortly after I got an offer from the IT company I now work for. I cherished the job and I vowed to make a go of my career.

I got married the next year - my husband teaches at college - and although we used contraception, we quickly learned I was pregnant. It was a shock.

We discussed it and we decided it was best we give up the baby so I can concentrate on my career. I was in fits of tears but I went through with the abortion.

I threw myself into my job and, when I was 29 years old, my hard work finally paid off. I was promoted to the head of my department.

But that didn't mean I could relax. I still had to prove myself to my male colleagues and I actually worked even crazier hours than before. And then I got pregnant again. That period was vital to my career, so without asking my husband I went to the hospital and had another abortion.

When I turned 31, I felt that my position in the company was secure. My husband and I had already bought a house and we owned two cars. We agreed that it was the right time to start a family.

But after two years of trying we weren't having any luck so we went to the hospital for a checkup. I was diagnosed with secondary infertility. The doctors said I had blockages in my fallopian tubes.

Since then, we've visited a lot of hospitals, had a lot of examinations and spent a lot of money. We're still waiting for some good news.

We are under pressure from both our parents to have a child and it has pushed us to the edge. As a last hope, this year we tried artificial insemination but it still didn't work. It's really hard to describe my mood. I could be a mother already but I gave up the chance. I think the abortion I had when I was 29 is the thing I regret most in my entire life.

Although the road to becoming a mother is very hard, and with little hope left, we'll spare no efforts to keep on trying.

Li Miao was talking to He Na.

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