From the Readers

What's the buzz

Updated: 2011-07-25 07:52

(China Daily)

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China is seeing its fourth wave of single people, mostly female. But this time, women say they are choosing to stay single, as they don't want to be forced into marriage and can live a more fulfilling life on their own. China Daily mobile news readers share their views with us.

I would also voluntarily choose to be single if I could live my life all over again. Marriage is like synchronized diving. If the couple fail to act in harmony, life can get rather boring.

A reader from Quzhou, Zhejiang province

Marriage does not necessarily mean happiness, but nor will a single life always be wonderful. Many women insist on being single in the name of independence and freedom and have no plan to settle down, but it is their fear of starting another way of life, as well as their desire for willful and cheap freedom. A woman's life is complete and mature only after she becomes a wife and mother.

Xiaoxia, Nanchang, Jiangxi province

The women of marriageable age are usually the only daughter in their families and they are spoiled and lack the character to understand or care for others and how to make compromises. As modern society has made it possible for women to be more independent, they now require more from their men, which always makes men flee with fear. I used to hold a similar opinion, but we have to adapt ourselves to reality. Although there are misunderstandings, even quarrels sometimes, it is much better to have a partner than to be alone.

A reader from Shanghai

A single life is better, since a shared life always means stumbling. Too many pressures and burdens, from both life and work, just makes a woman breathless. Being single will free her from the daily trivialities of life and bring her pleasure after work. It is a fact that too many men are either male chauvinists or men with no definite opinions of their own.

A reader from Beijing

Just as the writer Qian Zhongshu said, marriage is like a fortress besieged: those who are outside want to get in and those who are inside want to get out. In my opinion, the fact that many modern women choose to remain single shows they have a mature attitude toward marriage. They no longer hastily position themselves just to carry on the family line, but cherish their own lives and sexual desires. It is a sign of liberation.

OrangeGemini, Jinzhong, Shanxi province

Being a single lady of marriageable age, I face pressure from my parents and a fear of "growing old". I used to have a deep faith in love, only to be hurt and pay the price of being young and immature. A man's lies, childishness and lack of responsibility have completely disappointed me. I realized it was better for me to further improve myself. Just as Simone de Beauvoir said in The Second Sex, a woman must work to earn genuine respect and it is better to base her hopes of happiness on herself instead of on a man. Love is so sacred that I would rather wait several years or even a decade for my Mr Right.

Qiushuilanxin, Jinan, Shandong province

I am a single male myself. Living in an international metropolis like Shanghai, I know very well the heavy cost of getting married. That the number of single women is increasing is largely due to the high cost of living. Besides, the reason why many choose not to get married is not that they cannot find someone they love, but they fail to find an ideal marriage partner who can satisfy both themselves and their parents, which is also a social issue.

Stable, Shanghai

(China Daily 07/25/2011 page9)


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