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Anna Mae He was brought to China. Her parents divorced. She is unhappy in school.
There is nothing unusual with these developments. But the public simply cannot help reading a “larger picture” into it.
From the very beginning, both supporters and detractors tended to see the story as symbols: If her parents failed to regain legal custody of her, China would lose; if they won, China would triumph over the US.
Now that Anna Mae is having difficulty adjusting to her Chinese environment, some suggest the Chinese government should step in and help out.
But government should not intervene in strictly private affairs to make a point — the fact that a Chinese family can take care of its foreign-born children.
Rich or poor, wise or foolish, He Shaoqiang and Luo Qin have the responsibility to make decisions for their daughter. Unlike the Olympics, their success or failure as parents does not represent China. We as outsiders should respect their decisions and refrain from jumping to conclusions. We are not in their positions and whatever we learn from press reports may not be the whole picture.
While the sympathy and support for the Hes is commendable, the logic behind it is often problematic. When the Hes fought the legal battle, some blew it up as a matter of saving face for the nation (Thank God it was not turned into another Elian Gonzales case on the US side.). When the Hes decided to come back to China, some interpreted as a triumph — almost like a looted national treasure returning to its rightful owner — while others saw it as a personal failure. The divorce shifted public sympathy because it was perceived as a resounding sign of family malfunction.
As a matte of fact, it’s a family affair, pure and simple. It has nothing to do with national pride. I’m sure both the Hes and the Bakers give unconditional love to Anna Mae. And she will hopefully benefit from the attention and care of two sets of parents. (I have to add that it’s wise for the Hes to let Anna Mae keep contact with the Bakers.)
It is difficult for an 11-year-old raised in the US to live in China. The wealth gap is the least relevant factor. And the language gap, while more pertinent, could be easily bridged for this age group. It is the cultural differences, especially the way of teaching and learning which are most challenging. Both family members and the school should make an effort to help her ease into the new culture. Emphasize the similarities, not the differences; stress the positive aspects of each culture, not the negative ones, so that she will find it advantageous to be handling two languages and two cultures.
Though not a grown-up yet, Anna Mae and her happiness is what this is all about. Everyone involved should think more from her viewpoint.
