IT Popular author and mom continues her laid-back child-raising advice in a new book. Liu Zhihua listens as Yin Jianli discusses her non-traditional outlook.

Since she published her best-selling A Good Mom Is Better Than a Good Teacher on child-rearing five years ago, Yin Jianli has often been asked by her readers when she was going to come up with a second book.

The self-employed family education researcher, 50, has finally done so. Her new book, a follow-up to the first, is titled Best Education Is the Simplest.

While her first book was based on her experience in bringing up her own daughter, who recently finished college, the new book presents case studies of other parents, with commentary and guidance.

Yin's first book, released by the Writers Publishing House in January 2009, was an unexpected hit. The book has stayed on the bestsellers list since its publication, selling about 6 million copies, at a time when many books manage to sell only a few thousand copies at best.

On Dangdang.com, one of China's biggest online shopping websites, the book received 400,000 favorable comments, and lots of readers bought multiple copies to give as presents to friends, according to Kan Min, vice-president of the website.

The debut book has pushed Yin twice onto the Chinese Writers' Rich List, with 4.48 million yuan ($710,000) in 2010, and 2.65 million in 2012.

The child-rearing book emphasizes the importance of family education, and advocates revolutionary child-rearing principles, such as listening to children to let them grow without undue interference. Most traditional family education books in China have focused on how to make children behave and get them into elite schools.

"I wanted to tell parents, they are closest to their children, and should take the lead in their education, not the school teachers," Yin says at a book signing event on Aug 21 for her second book at Beijing Dongcheng District Library. Yin wrote the book, she says, because she found there were many problems that parents encountered which she did not discuss in her first book.

She was also inspired by receiving more than 100 e-mails every day since 2009, from desperate parents describing their troubles in raising a child who sought her advice.

The case studies discussed in Best Education Is the Simplest, also published by the Writers Publishing House, are very typical among Chinese families, Yin says.

For example, she writes about "bad ideas" that are popular with young parents, such as ignoring babies when they cry to make them quiet. In doing so, the parents are actually making the baby feel abandoned and hurt, and this will cause life-long problems, Yin comments.

Also, many parents are too busy to take care of their children, and entrust their care to the grandparents. This breaks the natural bond between the children and parents, and may also cause education issues, Yin says.

The author urges parents to follow nature's path, such as adopting breast-feeding, respecting their children's dignity and liberty, and raising them without too much interference.

When children scrawl graffiti on walls and furniture, for instance, let it be, Yin writes in the new book. They are enjoying childhood, and sooner or later they will stop such behavior. But they will grow up rebellious if you forbid it.

Also, do not stress competitiveness. It will harm a child's physical and psychological well-being, making it hard to form friendships with other children and cooperate with them, Yin writes.

"The conflict between the tiger mother's child-rearing way and open and caring upbringing is often seen as a conflict between Eastern and Western cultures," Yin says.

"That is a shame. The difference in the two in my eyes is just that the former is bad education and the latter is good."

Yin uses her own daughter Yuanyuan as an example during the event. Since she was very young, Yin has never compared her with other children to improve her "competitiveness", or held high expectation, or forced her to do anything she doesn't want to do, to "make her independent".

"I accept all her flaws and mistakes, and I don't need her to be perfect," Yin says.

"She will acquire the necessary skills when she needs them, and all I expect from her is that she lives happily."

Her daughter recently graduated from an Ivy League university and works in Hong Kong. Her daughter made her own choices.

It is understandable that parents are anxious about their children's future, she says, and want the best for them. But childhood is a self-perfecting process as individuals grow to integrate into society, and undue interference from parents will actually harm the journey, Yin notes.

Contact the writer at liuzhihua@chinadaily.com.cn

(China Daily 08/27/2014 page20)