Social security lags far behind economic growth in China. Many parents have been saving all their lives for their children, first for their education and then for the down payment of their apartments or dowry. Their happiness is closely associated with the well-being of their children not because they want to, but because their children are the only people they can count on to take care of them.

In Western countries, senior citizens usually have their retirement planned out thanks to the pension fund. And even in China, gray haired foreigners carrying large backpacks with admirable energy are a common sight. But Chinese senior citizens usually devote their retirement years to taking care of their grandchildren. And while many Chinese women married to foreigners complain that their mothers-in-law shun the responsibility of looking after their grandchildren, Chinese grandparents usually fight to spend time with their grandchildren.

No wonder, Chinese parents with unmarried children feel slighted when they see the offspring of their friends and colleagues getting married and having children. Because the marriage of their children has a great bearing on their own lifestyle, aged parents become desperate to find them a spouse for their offspring. This explains why despite their low rate of success in matchmaking, an increasing number of parents keep going to events to look for potential sons-or daughters-in-law.

The author is a writer with China Daily. yangziman@chinadaily.com.cn